I'll See You Later
by Lithium Suicide
Summary: KaitoxMiriam // I never knew what kindness was till I met you. Now, just don't leave me...


**A/N: This is a roleplay I had with a friend c: It may not be too smooth to read because of that reason. I could edit it and make it a proper story, but I'm lazy. Heh.**

**I RPed Miriam's part, my friend was Kaito.**

**A warning: There's depression and suicide and other wonderful things like that in this fic. So if you have an aversion towards that sort of content, I advise you to maybe not read this xD;;**

**---**

Crouched alone in the small sandpit of a local playground, was a young girl. Half-heartedly her finger trailed through the sand, drawing messages without much meaning. A sharp breeze blew a strand of silvery hair into her face, and the girl brushed it out of the way with disgust. How she hated her hair. Only another excuse for 'them' to tease her. 'Grey like an old person', they would say. "I didn't choose to be like this," she mumbled.

"Didn't choose to be like what?" Kaito asked, popping up in front of her. It was the same girl he had seen and watched every day, while she crouched down and did nothing. He loved watching how her beautiful, silver hair blow in the wind. This was, however, the first time he had chosen to talk to her rather than let her be alone. He was quite a popular boy, if just for his strange-colored, blue hair and nice voice. This girl, however, seemed doomed to obscurity. He didn't want anyone to feel left out, but often, he stayed back on his words. If he did, he might be teased, Kaito knew. The more popular people, such as the one with teal hair and the twins, seemed to be so set on their ways. So many people tried to get Kaito to confess false love to the teal haired, too. He didn't even bother with her name, let alone actually liking her! It was so strange. . .

The girl with odd-coloured hair nearly fell backwards at the boy's unexpected appearance. A small squeak escaped her lips, and out of pure instinct she protectively cowered down and covered her head. Was he going to hurt her like the others..? When nothing happened after a few moments, she hesistantly moved her arms away from her face, and gawked up at him. She dared not speak, and remained dead-

silent, her wide eyes never wavering from his figure.

"So, you aren't gonna awnser me? It didn't look like you talked much." he said, reaching a hand out to help her up. Kaito gave her a warm, friendly smile as opposed to the usual taunting grins she got from others. "You okay?" he asked, tilting his head to the right slightly, He genuinly worried at her reaction, not wanted her to be afraid of him at all. That would ruin the point, wouldn't it?

"O-Oh.. Um, I'msorry." She quickly apologised, stumbling over her words. Shying away from his outstretched hand, she shakily got to her feet by herself. "I'm sorry," she repeated, with less stuttering. The friendliness somewhat frightened her almost as much as a threat. The constant feeling that it was all a cruel joke ran deep through her, and she was unable to shake it off. But, what if he was honestly being nice to her..? Then she must seem incredibly rude right now!

"I'm sorry!!" She once again apologized, though it was more for her own incredulous thoughts than anything the boy directly did.

"Don't be so.....suck upy, or whatever they call it." he said, rolling his eyes slightly. Kaito moved his hands ot his hips, looking at her, eyes focusing on hers. His eyes were a deep shade or blue, like some kind of crystal or glass. " Anyway, are you gon'na awnser me?" he said, tilting his head again. "What didn't you choose to be like?" his eyes moved from her face for a moment, glancing at his sleeves, as thought checking something. He seemed satisified in whatever he had been checking, then moved his eyes back to Miriam, waiting patiently for an awnser.

"I'm sor-..." She immediately shut her mouth when she realised she was just continuing to be 'suck-upy', or whatever he had said. Biting her lower lip for a moment, she eventually began stuttering out an answer. "Like me. I didn't choose to be me, so.. it's not fair that people should treat me differently.. It's not my fault.." The rim of her eyes shone with unshead tears, and she tried desperately to refrain from letting them fall. She wasn't going to show anyone weakness, no..

"Fault?" Kaito questioned. "Why would you be at fault for anything?" The blue-haired one just didn't see it, she was too pretty. "You're not at fault for anything, as far as I'm concerned. Does it really matter what others say?" he wouldn't dare let the other girl cry. It hurt him to see her so sad..she was so pretty and mysterious otherwise. Watching her gave him something better to do that just sit around, it gave him something nice to think about when he sang the songs people liked. Seeing her sad.......just made it so much worst . He wanted to see her smile, to be happy.

She stared at the ground, unable to look anywhere else. "I guess.. but it doesn't stop them." And it doesn't stop it from hurting, she added silently to herself. A new waves of tears attempted to overcome her, and she tried, oh how she tried, to keep them in, but maybe one or two crept out. Or maybe a bit more than that, as strong watery rivulets streamed down her cheeks.

Kaito paniced at the sight of tears. Not as planned! His eyes widened as he glanced asaid momentarily, trying to forget it but...the sight of such a pretty person shedding tears was too horrible to imagine, and having to see it like this was horrible. He hesitently reached his hand forward, brushing the sleeves of his coat along the tears, wipeing them away. "Don't cry." he whispered, silently, -

feeling tears come to his eyes. "If you cry, I will, too..." he said, glancing aside in slight embarrasment. Boys weren't supposed to cry! Escpecilly not boys like Kaito! It was just.....unfair.

"I-I-.. I'm s-so-so--.." She could never finish her sentence, instead being overwhelmened by the tearshed. Out of a habitual search for comfort, she fell forward and leant into his chest, clutching at his shirt. Still crying her eyes out, she buried herself against him, finding small relief in human contact that did not cause pain and injuries.

Kaito steadied his feet on the ground, as not to fall over from the sudden weight pressed upon him. Tears filled his eyes, threatening to fall as he patted the girl's back in an attempt to calm her. It seemed she had reasons to be so mysterious, silent. He udnerstood the other people were so ....so rude. It was so unfair. He allowed her sobbing, none the less, instead of pushing her away like some others would have told him to do. He didn't understand why they chose /her/, of all people, to be so rude to. Why couldn't they pick on eachother? Or even him, if they wanted? Why did it have to be the girl currently crying her eyes and heart out on him?

She felt horrible for doing this - for forcing this upon the kind stranger. But she was grateful, so much, that he chose to comfort her instead of rejecting her outcry for comfort. Then somewhere amongst her mixed thoughts and feelings, she had an odd notion; she had yet to tell the person her name! It was an obscure and unecessary thought, yet in her mixed up mind she found it important that she at least told him who she was.

"I-I'm Miriam.." she mumbled, her voice muffled by his shirt.

Kaito stayed silent for a moment, thinking over things. Miriam. Miriam. What a pretty name for such a pretty person. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer, into a hug. "I'm Kaito." he said, giving a nod. "You have such a pretty name. . " he voiced the thought that had roamed in his head, feeling it needed to be said, as it was true, not just an object of comfort to be used.

She shivered, not from the cold, but from the unfamiliar feeling of just being hugged. It was.. nice. Miriam huddled against Kaito, her tears slowing to a gentle trickle. They had only just met, but Miriam felt like she had known him for longer. It was so wonderful to be held..

But did he really think that her name was pretty? No one had actually teased her about her name, yet none had complimented it either. Was he trying to cheer her up? Even if it was a lie for that purpose, it made her happy. Someone wants to help her, for once.. "T-Thank-you..", she whispered, but not only for the comment, but for just being there with her.

"You act like there would ever be a problem being around you." Kaito said, a small smile passing onto his face. "I don't even see why the others pick on you like they do." her said, not letting her go yet. She was too nice, up close. . .it was almost scary. Why did the others pick on her? No reason? That...wasn't right. Why did they have to be some mean to such a nice person?

Looking up with blotched face from the tears - which had finally ceased - Miriam almost smiled herself after noticing his. "I don't either.." she mumbled, though louder than the other times, it was much easier to talk when you weren't choking on your own tears. Suddenly, she jerked away, and glanced at a flowery-pink watch strapped to her wrist. "I-I have to go, it's l-late.." she hurridly explained, while making an attempt to neaten the clothes which had gotten slightly ruffled from the proximity with Kaito.

"Can I.. Can I see you here tomorrow?" She asked nervously, yet with a streak of hope apparent in her tone.

Kaito seemed disappointed by her hurry to leave. "Hm....." he thought for a moment, trying to figure somethign out. He silently prayed on the inside that she hadn't seen the cuts on his wrist when he had wiped her tears, or when he had hugged her. "Meet me tomorrow at the aisu some, 'kay?" he said, giving her a friendly smile again. "We can talk easier inside than out here."

"Okay." She nodded, with a tiny smile. Then, with a wave of her pale hand, she turned her heel and ran off in the direction of home. But she could not resists one last look back at Kaito, just before he faded out of sight.

..+---+..

Kaito clutched a hand to his chest. It had gone by so quick.......time, that is. Now, he had to leave this town, this past.....behind him. His mind buzzed with repeated thoughts, trying to figure out every detial. He didn't want to leave, but school made him, and he needed his education. The cuts on his wrist had grown deeper and deeper, and he was still unsure if he had managed to hide them well enough from Miriam. He was scared to leave her, even. She would be alone again without him, and Kaito didn't want to hear about her being alone. It was one of the things that crushed him. None the less, he would have to seek out the unknown...and Miriam could wait until school was done, right?

Miriam, unaware of the events that were to follow, ran happily down the street. Kaito had told her to meet him at the usual place - the aisu palour. She was happy, as she always was around the cobalt-haired boy. He was nice when no one else was.

Reaching the store, the bell chimed as she entered. Kaito also said he had something to tell her.. What could it be?

Kaito glanced off sadly as he saw Miriam enter. He didn't want to have to tell her, He didn't want to see her sad. One of his hands reached up, pushing some of his blue hair out of his face. He waited for her to come and ask, as opposed to how he normally called her over.

Too blinded by her own glee, Miriam bounced on over to the quiet table of which he sat. She took the seat opposite him, and with a smile greeted Kaito pleasantly.

"Now.. What was it that you wanted to tell me?" she asked, contentedly curious.

Kaito let his hair fall back into his face, a dagger of pain hitting him. Why? Why did he have to leave her, and on one of the days she was so happy? He gave a sigh, figuring it was better to get it over with now. "I-I....." he stuttered, near tears already. But boys don't cry. Otherwise he would burst out sobbing. "I have bad news."

Her happy expression began to fall the moment she took a good look at Kaito; he wasn't seeming himself. That expression worsened as fears were comfirmed.

"Bad news..?" She echoed, her voice slightly high-pitched from the emotion. Her fists clenched, and she started to look pale, all while an agonizing throb began to grow in the bottom of her chest. "W-What's the b-bad news..?"

Kaito glanced off. She knew he wouldn't want to tell her, right. One of the tears he had works oh-so-hard to hold back slid down his face, more appearing and threatening his face. "I-I...I have to leave." he said, quietly, closing his eyes to try harder to hold back the tears.

In morbid horror she watched the teat slide down his face, like a sharply cut diamond. Miriam gulped, a painful lump rising in her throat. "L-Leave..? As i-in.. not see you anymore..?"

It was almost impossible to imagine. Kaito had become such a welcoming presence in her life, she didn't want to be without him. She'd rather die.

"Why?!" Her voice rose a notch, and too, she began to cry.

Kaito leaned forward, using his sleeves to wipe her tears again, like he had when they had first met. "I-I can come back!.....maybe. If they decide to not give me a record deal when I'm done with school, then I have no real choice but to come home! I don't want to leave you. . . I don't want you to be sad, either. ." he gave a sigh, letting the tears stream down his face.

Miriam leaned fully over the table, throwing her arms around him. Freely, she buried her head into his shoulder and cried.

"No..! I don't want you to leave at all! You have to come back.. you have to.."

Kaito allowed it, wrapping his arms around her in response. Why did they have to make him leave? "I-I don't really have a choice. . ." he said, looking aside, not wanting to catch sight of her anymore. "I'm not sure what they'll say. I'm not sure if they'll reject or deny me...." Kaito already knew he would probably be accepted, and had a high chance of getting a record deal, but he refused to tell Miriam that. He wanted her to think he had more of a chance then he really did.

"For once I'm hoping you don't do well.." Miriam whispered, laughing weakly. Tears still streaming, she hiccuped slightly and leant against Kaito, despite it being rather uncomforable overtop the table.

"When's.. When's the exact date you're supposed leave..?"

"I- . . Today. I didn't want to tell you. . ." he let his voice trail off, tears streaming again, as he was unable to stop them. He didn't want to leave! It was as thought nobody had noticed his friendship with the grey-haired girl. As thought nobody had noticed the only thing keeping him from snapping those cuts a bit deeper was her. Now, he silently hoped she didn't see the cuts, because those -

would only make his leaving worst.

Finally letting go, and moving to sit next to him, Miriam gripped his arm and hugged it tightly.

"Please don't leave. I don't think I could live without you.."

"I-I don't have a choice....." he said, trying deperatly to stop the tears that streamed from his eyes. He was failing quickly at said task. "I don't want to go. . ." he said, tilting his head down. "I-I really don't." he glanced over at a nearby clock, then back down at his hands. Thanks god.........she hadn't seen his wrists, or hadn't mentioned the cuts that now left gashes and scars on the skin.

She slid her palm down his arm, hoping to hold his hand. Though, when her fingertips grazed the skin of his wrist momentarily, she recoiled slightly when she felt strange abrazions. "Kaito, what's-..." She trailed off as she brought his wrist to her face, her eyes widening with horror.

Kaito instantly jerked his hand away from her, looking away, refusing to let his eyes pass on her. His one best kept secret, somehow, from her. He reached his sleeve up, wiping up his own tears as well as he could when new ones kept pouring down from his eyes.

Tears welled, and she looked at him with a pitiful expression. "Why...?" She tugged at the sleeve on his shoulder, pleading him to look at her. "Why..?!" She repeated.

Kaito gfought to keep his eyes away from her, giving up and moving them, pulling Miriam back into a tight hug. "Please. . ." he said, voice quivering. "Don't ask." he didn't feel like explaining at the moment, anyway.

It hurt to hear that. It hurt to know that there were still things Kaito would not tell her. Miriam thought she was close to him, but apparently not so much as she believed.

Heart breaking, she couldn't find the strength to wrap her own arms around him, instead just laying in his arms.

Kaito felt a strong sense of guilt pass over him. "I'm sorry, Miriam. I'm so sorry....." he whispered quietly. "I don't want you to be sad... I don't want you to think you can't tell me anything and I won't listen...." his eyes welled up with tears again, and he hugged her tighter. "Y-you know I don't want to leave you, escpecilly not like this, right?" he asked, voice quavering.

She nodded against him. Of course she knew that.. She could tell he really did care, yet.. he was leaving. And why didn't he tell her about his wrists, either? Who knows what else there is, who knows..

She squeezed her eyes shut tight, and burried her face into his chest. For now, she just wanted to stay with Kaito for as long as possible.

"I should only have to be away for a few years.... Five at the most......" he said, voice still quiet and a bit scared. `"T-then I can come back. I'll come and see you, I promise. I swear on my life....." he didn't let her go still, not caring if she was acting clingy or annoying in other's eyes. In his eyes, it was his fault any way. She had every right to be clingy. She had every write to hit him in the face and walk away, which is what he believed he deserved.

Five years. Five years was five too much. "Kaito.." she whimpered, barely disguising her emotions. The pain. The sadness. How much she was breaking on the inside. But, maybe this was just like the times before he came into her life. When she had to fake things to get by.

"...I understand. You can leave." A lie.

"Wrong, Miriam." Kaito said, eyes closing again to keep himself from breaking back into sobs. " I can't leave. If I leave, you won't have anyone. I don't have a choice." his voice was still quiet. He had never felt utterly alone before, not as much as he knew he would feel as soon as he stepped on his train to leave. But he had more things to worry about. "I need you."

She kept quiet, not sure what to say anymore.

'Try to see the good things', she thought to herself. Even if he left, he would come back. He would. He had to.

"I need you too.." she finally whispered in return, after being silent for long enough.

Kaito held her closer, as thought in fear she would disappear if he let go. He kept silent this time, closed eyes not wanting to see anything, to hear anything but her. He wanted to stay. School was like a demon, in the way of his happiness. Truthfully, that was really what it was.

Miriam remained in his hold, and it felt like time had stopped. She didn't dare talk, let alone move, in case it would break the imaginary spell that allowed them to stay together.

Just let it stay like this a little longer, please..

Kaito didn't want to let go. He didn't want to move. But as he glanced at the clock, he knew if he didn't move he would miss his train. "I've got to go....I'm sorry......I'll see you again, I swear." he said, not letting go just yet, but still speaking the words.

She made a small whimpering sound, like she was holding back a particularly violent sob. Shaking hands clutched his shirt so tight, almost as if they had rigor mortis. She didn't want this. It was a dream.. a really bad dream..

Kaito wanted to scream. He wanted to rip himself apart, for being so annoying and selfish and leaving like he was about to do. He reached back, teara falling from his eyes as he slowly pryed her hands from his shirt.

She allowed him to pry her away without a struggle; it was the inevitable. This was going to happen no matter how much she cried and hoped. Miriam knew she should probably help in some way - like by at least removing herself from him without his aid - yet she couldn't find the willpower to do so. Not now. She couldn't..

"..I'm going to miss you. So much." he added, holding her hands in his and leaning over, pressing his lips to her forehead for a second. "....I never want to leave." he said, the tears once again threatening his eyes and face.

Meekly, she nodded. No more tears flowed, maybe she had dehyrdrated herself too much, yet wet streaks were still fresh on her cheeks.

"I know.." she spoke, no more than the gentlest whisper.

Kaito pulled away, standing up and turning. ". . .Take care of yourself." he said, reaching his hands up, brushing off what tears her could, and preparing to leave. To do the one thing he would rather die than do.

She stood, rooted to the spot. This was it.

"G-Goodbye.."

"Don't say goodbye." Kaito corrected. "See you later." he corrected, turning his head back to give her one last friendly smile, and then to depart.

"See you later..." she uttered with little emotion.

Then he was gone.

..+---+..

Six years. He had screwed up badly. Six years. They hadn't let him leave. For six years. Kaito walked through the streets, mind furious. His eyes searched everywhere, looking for the body, the person, he had come to see. Hopefully, he could find her. Hopefully, she hadn' anything wrong while he was gone. One year. They had kept him a while extra year. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fucking fair! He wanted to hurt someone, anyone, for what they had done. He had missed seeing her. He hated it. Tears streamed down his face in rememberance. He had gotten the record deal he had hoped for, but they had forced him back to do many useless things. He just wanted to see her face again, after so long. To hug her. To see her smile. To make sure she was alright.

Miriam tested the footing of the metalic ledge along the outer edges of the bridge. A chilly wind whipped hair around her eyes, distorting her vision. From the humidity, she could feel rain coming. How suitable for the mood, she thought morbidly.

One step at a time, she began edging her way out towards the centre of the bridge, above the dark, swirling currents of water. The liquid body thrashed and foamed, enough that it might kill someone if they fell in.

Which was exactly the idea.

Miriam gagged back a sob, as she forcefully reminded herself the reason she was here. She just couldn't take it anymore.

She had waited, and waited she had. For such a long time. No more than five years, that's what he said. Well, it had been six years. Six years, three months, and forty-three days. Miriam kept count. She marked on her calender, waiting each year round to see if he would return.

He never did. And she was weary.

Constant heartache. The torment had immediately returned ten times worse, and it was harder to handle knowing the person you could always turn to for comfort was not there.

So, if they weren't there, she wouldn't be either. She wouldn't be anywhere. She wanted to be dead.

Kaito continued his walk, eyes glancing, until he stepped up onto the bridge. He stopped looking here, though his eyes whipped out every once in a while to watch where he was going. Suddenly, a figure caught his eyes. For a moment, he contemplated ignoring it, but then he noticed the hair. He only know one person in the world with that beautiful hair. That was when his heart skipped a beat, and his eyes widened. He tried to think of what to do, how to stop her. He sran forward, grabbing her from behind around the waist. He couldn't let her jump, and even something dumb would be enough if it saved her.

She took a deep breath, calming her now-eratic breathing. Rain had gently started drizzling down, making her hair stick to the sides of her face and back of her neck.

Slowly, she closed her eyes, ready to take that final step out..

..When two unknown arms wrapped themselves around her waist.

The impact startled her, and with a loud cry she overbalanced. Unable to retain her standing, she went-

the only way she could.

And that was down.

Kaito's eyes widened, but none the less, he kept his grip tight on her. . .What had he just done?! He wanted to scream at his mistake....instead he prayed that Miriam would live. Hs wrists pulsed with the stress, reminding him of the cuts that had once been there. When he had left, he had stopped with that. The only remains of the blade marks were scars, now.

Her eyes, which were still tightly closed from before, creaked open just a little. The wind rushed by speedily, and Miriam felt her guts constrict with the wrenching sensation of falling.

She opened her eyes a little wider; to find herself face-to-face with another pair of eyes, of an interesting blue colour. A blue colour that only belonged to one other person. Kaito.

Disbelief and amazement fleeted across her features, and she could only stare hopelessly at the man she had given up on.

Kaito's eyes stayed open as he fell, full or worry and disapointment and anger and sadness all at the same time, thought it was unclear exactly who these emotions were aimed at.

She looked at him. It was all she could do.

It's not like any words would be heard with the rushing wind. She stared deep into his eyes, those eyes she had missed with all her heart. Not only the eyes though, but everything else. His touch, his warmth, just him.

Miriam could have continued on, listing every single facet of Kaito that she had loved and missed dearly, but alas it was about time the raging currents took hold of their bodies.

That was the last thing Miriam remembered. Apart from the onset of freezing waters, surrounding her entirity, blurring her vision, and harshly dragging her down. Deep, deep down.. Darkness... Then nothing.

Kaito hit just a bit harder than she did, but he refused to let his eyes close, even in the freezing cold water.

..+---+..

Miriam lay in darkness, blissfully empty. Where was she..? It was warm, she felt comfortable. Slowly, she began to hear a noise. A faint beeping, repeating at a constant beat. Like those.. heart-machine-things they have at hospitals. Hospital.. why would she be in hospital? What happened? The last she remembered was a bridge. And cold water... And Kai-

"KAITO!" She screamed, wretching herself upright. Her breath-rate increased, and so did the beeping of the heart monitor.

He had been there! But, where was he now? Was he in hospital too?

Miriam began to get out of the bed she was on, ignoring the pain that shooting through her limbs as she moved.

One nurse- who had been sitting in the corner, stepped forward and pushed Miriam back down. "You can't get up." she said, shaking her head slightly. "You're not strong enough yet." her face was calm, prepated for any sort of fight of event that happened next.,

"I don't care!" Miriam yelled at the nurse, and tried to shove her aside. Yet the movement caused a stab of agony to travel along her back, and it was only then that she realised the tight bandages that covered most of her chest.

Falling backwards into the bed, Miriam gave up her physical assualt but prodded the nurse with questions instead.

"Where's Kaito?"

"Kaito......" the nurse muttered quietly, then cringed. "You aren't going to like this.." said the nurse, reaching back and grabbing a newspaper, handing it to Miriam. The fornt page said, as a headline, "Aspiring singer dead after bridge incident". A picture was displayed on the front. It was Kaito, giving the camera an almost sad face, eyes wide as thought the picture was suprised to him. It was probably one of the pictures that had been taken of him while he was away. Under the picture, a caption remained. "Kaito, who was working on recording an album, was drownd in a bridget accident last night."

Miriam gripped the paper tightly, her fingernails causing it to tear. She stared at the photo, then the headline. Tears began blurring her vision, but one word continued to stand out through it all. Dead.

Kaito was dead. And it was her fault.

If only.. If only she waited one more day. Or if she had chosen to kill herself a day earlier; then Kaito wouldn't have to worry about her at all.

She was such an idiot. A failure. Never doing anything right. Memories of times when she was teased and tormented about that waltzed through her mind. They were correct, all along. She was just destined to be useless, a burden on everyone no matter what she did.

Now, she had gotten the person she loved the most in the entire world killed. He had so much ahead of him - what right did she have to take that away? None. She derserved to die.

Curling up into a feotal position on the bed, Miriam's shoulders shook with sobs that rocked her whole body. Everything hurt, and that's not just talking about the outside injuries from the fall.

Please, someone kill her now. She wanted to die so much..

"He was close to you, wasn't he?" the nurse said, reaching a hand forward to pat Miriam on the back. "I heard some of his songs online......he had a nice voice........" the nurse tried to help, but knew she was probably useless.

The nurse's touch did nothing. To Miriam, she may as well have been striking her with a sledge hammer. That actually didn't sound like a very bad idea..

"Please kill me." Miriam whispered, though loud enough for the nurse to hear.

The nurse didn't even know the bridge incedent had been a suicide attempt. Nobody knew, yet, as they barely knew that one of them had died. Miriam was the only one left alive to know. "I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Please.." Miriam begged, looking up at the nurse pitifully. Her watery eyes reflected the emotions inside, overflowing with regret and agony.

"I should have been the one to die, it was what I wanted.. Not Kaito.."

"If I'd had it my way, neither of you would've died. " the nurse shrugged. "But life is annoying, we all know it. How close was he to you that you have to be so sad over him? The article says he wasn't staying anywhere near here."

Miriam could not reply for some time, as an onslaught of weeping overtook her actions. After she had managed to catch half a breath, she replied shakily, "He was the only one I cared about.. and he was the only one that cared about me.

I..I loved him."

The nurse stayed silent in response. Was there any vocal was to respond to that? There were questions she could ask, but decided against. She reached her hand forward, wearing long sleeves currently, and whiped her tears away, just as Kaito had done before.

The familiar motion only reminded Miriam of those once happy times with Kaito, and subsequently that he wasn't here anymore.

With a stroke of venom, Miriam slapped away the nurse's hand.

The nurse jerked her hand back quickly. "Don't move so much, you'll hurt yourself." she said, giving a slightly irritaded growl.

"Does it matter? DOES IT MATTER ANYMORE?!" Miriam screeched, fast turning violent after her sobbing breakdown.

"Calm down." The nurse said, holding her hands out in preperation to stop anything the grey-haired woman tried to do.

Something - Miriam needed something. She wasn't exactly sure what it was, but she needed it. Maybe it was something sharp.. something that could take a life. Miriam looked around.

Then, upon a table on the other side of the room, she spotted it. A nice, pointy needle.

She made a fake lunge at the nurse, but instead suddenly reared back, and jumped out of the other side of the bed. It hurt like someone had just started clawing at her insides, but in the end the product overcame the means.

As quickly as her weak legs could carry her, she strode across the room in a few steps, and grabbed the needle. She whipped it up to her neck, holding the sharp point against her jugular.

The nurse instantly screamed out to the door, some sort of number code, and then lurched forward, attempting to pull the needle from Miriam's hands.

"NO!" Miriam yelled, struggling with the nurse. The needle wavered back and forth as they fought, and Miriam felt it scrape at her neck more than once. Thin cuts stretched along the side of her neck, and a trickle of blood made its way down her skin.

The nurse pulled the needle away after a moment, and pushed Miriam down on the bed. Unfortunetly, she was an idiot enough to leave the room- thought taking the needle with her- to report the problem of a suicidal patient to a doctor.

Miriam lay on the bed, panting. She did nothing for some time, merely staring at the blank ceiling. Then, rising up, she swung her legs out of bed and stood up.

She couldn't stay here.

Looking towards the doorway, which was currently unattended, Miriam hobbled as quickly as she could without straining too much.

Where to go.. where to go..

She gazed around the hallway she had just entered from the door, not sure which way to turn first.

The nurses didn't seem to notice her moving, all of them in a hurry to do something or be somewhere. None of them made an effort to stop her from her actions this time.

Eventually Miriam just turned in a random direction. Carefully, she picked her way along, sticking close to the walls. Every-so-often she would flick her head around, seeing if anyone noticed her presence. Luckily all the doctors and nurses appeared to be to wrapped up in their current affairs.

Miriam now found herself next to a store room, door slightly ajar. Hoping that no one was in there she slipped inside.

Meanwhile, news reports and everything else were talking about the death of Kaito. All they knew was that he was a singer who was supposed to be staying far away, but had someone died just recently around this area, as well as somehow there being a woman with him. There was no real awnser they knew, only that they could assume it had been a lovers' romp gone horribly wrong.

She looked around. Various shelves of unused medication were piled high, among other more average things; like a dusty old broom in the corner. It was obvious this was one of the lesser used store rooms. So to not much surprise, Miriam was the only current occupant.

She quickly continued to run her hands along the shelves, looking for something sharp. Bottles of pills were scattered across the floor as she knocked them, but keepingn tidy wasn't the biggest concern.

Her tears once again began flowing, and her search became more frantic as she began throwing aside anything she grabbed. The ruckus must have been loud, surely someone would notice, but to Miriam the only thing she could hear was the thoughts in her head, telling her that if she could only die sooner, it would all be fine.

The nurses and doctors noticed the noise, but nobody bothered to check said room. Nobody had noticed she was gone yet, and nobody noticed his disappearance. They wouldn't, most likely, until it was too late.......

Finally, her hand grazed across something cold and metallic. Yanking it immediately to see what it was, Miriam found herself staring at a slightly rusty-looking pair of scissors.

A choked sob escaped her lips, and with a quavering hand, the scissors were brought to the soft skin under her neck.

The line of tears continued streaming down her cheeks, dripping. She could feel the harsh cold of the metal, yet it was somehow a comfort. Something solid that would bring her relief.

Within her mind, for the last time Miriam imagined the face of Kaito. First, as the young boy she once knew him as, then second, the wide-eyed face as they fell from the bridge.

An obscure smile curled onto her lips.

"I'll see you later.." She whispered.

Then, Miriam reared back her arm, and thrust the scissors.

..+---+..

Kaito waited. And waited. And waited for her. It didn't matter how long he had to stay, mind cenetered on nothing but waiting for Miriam. He didn't seem exactly......happy without her, even thought he wasn't anywhere near sad. He only moved from his waiting spots, at the gates of HEaven, to get aisu, and then it was right back to waiting, doodling in the clouds with his fingers and softly humming.

Wherever Miriam was, she felt strangely warm. And comfortable. Almost like when Kaito held her, but not quite. This feeling was.. peculiarly blissful, yet empty.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Apparently she had been previously lying down.

Gazing around, everything was rather bright. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt her eyes one bit. This place was weird, wherever it was.

Kaito stood, up on one of his regular searches for aisu. His eyes were still the same shade of blue they had anyways been, deep and clear like water, like tears, and like fragile glass that could break so easily.

Miriam carefully rose to her feet. Her eyes flickered back and forth over her surroundings, trying to decipher what was going on.

All around her was a fluffy expanse of white. It spread for what seemed like forever, with only random flecks of blue gaps breaking up the mononity.

Miriam wondered if this was all there was, when she saw it. The gigantic, towering golden gates. How she missed it in the first place, Miriam never knew.

So, with no other destination, she hesistantly approached the sparkling doorway.

Kaito glanced around a bit, seeing nothing to hid interest yet. His mind was so empty, so bored, so.......nothing. He gave a unhappy sigh for the first time since his arrival, hands reaching up to touch his hair gently.

Quickly, Miriam slipped through the gate. It was wide and rather inviting, but it gave her a strange feeling to pass through it.

Vaguely she began to wonder what she was supposed to do, but all thought processes suddenly froze as her eyes crossed a familiar figure.

"Kaito..?"

She broke into a run. "Kaito!" She shouted, tears welling in her eyes.

Kaito closed his eyes for a second, when he heard a voice. Her voice. He turned to her without hesitation, opening his arms wide and staying silent, a bright, friendly smile passing onto his face, just like the one he wore back when he had first seen her.

Miriam's expression lit up with the purest smile, and in no time at all she covered the distance between them and flung herself into Kaito's arms.

Kaito wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "I was waiting for you......" he said, quietly, voice sounding smooth and perfect.

Miriam smiled widely, happily clinging to Kaito.

"I thought I'd never see you again.." She mumbled.

"Never doubt anything. Doubt might make it come true." he said, pulling her close to him, hands refusing to let her go anymore. He had waited for what felt like forever.......

She only smiled, snuggling against his warm body.

"I love you, Kaito."

Kaito smiled back hearing her words.

"I love you, too."

It was then Miriam realised where she was. This was Heaven.

**---**

**A/N: Anyone like? xD**

**There's spelling errors, I know. *still too lazy to edit, fff***

**Btw, I really like RPing! If you wanna RP with me, send me a message. xD**

**I'm open to almost anything, and we could RP through Private Messages here, or on MSN if you're comfortable giving that out : )**


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